ordinary

 just another one in the million

of drops in the ocean

and grains in the sand

just another insignificant pebble

resting in a riverbed

your everything

 maybe i thought inside my mind

that i could try to make you happy.
maybe it was happiness that you never saw in me.

here i am standing
with an untouched painting
of all i could've ever dreamt for us to be

it was beautiful really...
you should've seen it from my eye!

the way i lightened up
just from the sound of your...

everything

Learn

you want what i want, clear to see

we must learn to love, learn to be

emptiness

 

machine of pathways connect, disconnect what's my fantasy?

tune into impulse

one button, one click

just another day

Reality

smiles turn to tears

it's more than you'll ever know

to keep on losing

garbage in, garbage out

 

you take pleasure in

my immense sadness and pain

you take no mercy

you dwell on my shortcomings

when you give no change
you lack forgiveness

BitterSweet

happiness

sweet, pure

giving, loving

between the lines of

grieving, hurting

dark, dull

loneliness

 

Sinking

 the flood is trying to pull me under

tired of the fight, lungs filled with water

i just wanna go home, wherever that may be

but there's only water as far as i can see

Glass Heart

my heart is like a glass
you drink until you're full
until i become empty
or you're no longer thirsty

sweet demons

 we're all monsters from day one

with the ability to shit on it all
and never give a second thought
but yet so capable of being angels
to create, to live, to love, to feel
when we decide it's convenient

we are sweet demons.

Tick, tock...

 

so close to death
will it ever rest?
give it the knife
since I tried my best

i’m empty, why?
turning dead inside
jump off the bridge
to escape this ride

i just want to smile
why can’t you see?
i’m trying to be
but my soul’s empty

i’m trying to live
want to be free
i've tried to forgive
but it’s killing me

La Mer

 

Please, vast sea, will you hold me near?

(It’s swallowing whole.)

I cannot stand another year…

(I’m losing control)

I’m sick living my life in fear

(It’s taking its toll)

I just need an escape from here.

(From killing my soul)

1997 (Pieces)

everything i'd ever need
wheels and sticks with sand and seeds

all that i wanted to be
had she let me keep the pieces

how different would my life lead

wheels and sticks with sand and seeds

all that i could build and see

had she let me keep the pieces

Survival

 

i must use my mind and taste
to survive
i must let my body waste
to survive
i must give my heart away
to survive
i must dredge another day
to survive

i must learn another face
to survive
i must run another race
to survive
i must lose another name
to survive
i must play another game
to survive

Hello

goodbye to the old days

so close yet so far
i'll always remember
wherever they are

hello to a new life
so far yet so near
i hope i find my place
among the stars here

Goodbye

Astray

 Lost, no sight ahead~
maybe I should give up

and lie down instead?

Sad, no place to go~

maybe I should travel

into the unknown?

Lost

lost at thought
without a trace

almost forgot me

twisted fate

tried to erase

but i still hate me

Home

where is home, my little girl?

not with him, or him, nor her!

not quite here yet not quite there

what if home's not anywhere?

was it all just wasted dreams?

is anything as it seems?

if the wind does always blow-

will she know which way to go?